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Friday 2/19/2010 ~ What I Have
Learned From TV
If you're like me, you're fascinated
by guitar model designations. ("Hey, is that a D-28 in your
pocket?... or is it an HD-28?... or HD-28V?")
This week we sold two new Rickenbacker
"C Series" guitars (325C58 and 325C64) and one "V
Series" (350V63)... and, naturally, the first question that
comes to mind  is:
Why does Rickenbacker have four of the new "C Series"
guitars in their price list, while one guitar still carries the
older "V Series" designation? Good question! And I
have the answer. Unfortunately, my wrists hurt so much from standing
on a ladder yesterday, hammering ice out of our frozen gutters,
to stop water from leaking into the building, that it has taken
me fifteen minutes just to type this far. (Ow...ow...)
Let's talk about why a Martin
000C-16RGTE is called an 000C-16RGTE next week... after we make
it through one more week of snow issues...
Meanwhile, since the roads have
been bad nearly every evening (and the electricity is back on!),
I've been watching a lot of movies on TV.
Here's what I've learned from
TV:
1. When paying for a taxi, never
look at your wallet as you take out a bill -- just grab one at
random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
2. If being chased through town,
you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade
-- at any time of the year.
3. All beds have special L-shaped
top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a  woman
but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
4. All grocery shopping bags
contain at least one loaf of French bread.
5. It's easy for anyone to land
a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk
you down.
6. Many musical instruments can
be played without moving your fingers.
7. The ventilation system of
any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think
of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part
of the building without difficulty.
8. Mothers routinely cook eggs,
bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though
the husband and children never have time to eat them.
9. Should you wish to pass yourself
off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the
language. A German accent will do.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen
from any window of any building in Paris.
11. A single match will be sufficient
to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
12. A man will show no pain while
taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman
tries to clean his wounds.
13. People on TV never finish
their drinks.
14. During all police investigations,
it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
15. Any person waking from a
nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
16. Kitchens don't have light
switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the
fridge door and use that light instead.
17. One man shooting at 20 men
has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at
one.
18. If a phone line is broken,
communication can be restored by frantically beating  the
cradle and saying, "Hello? Hello?"
19. Cars and trucks that crash
will almost always burst into flames.
20. Most people keep a scrapbook
of newspaper clippings -- especially if any of their family or
friends has died in a strange boating accident.
21. When they are alone, all
foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
22. If a killer is lurking in
your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath
-- even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
23. Medieval peasants had perfect
teeth.
24. When you turn out the light
to go to bed, everything in your room will still be  clearly
visible, just slightly bluish.
25. Dogs always know who's bad
and will naturally bark at them.
26. Action heroes never face
charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire
cities to waste.
27. Even when driving down a
perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering
wheel from left to right every few moments.
28. No matter how badly a spaceship
is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
29. All bombs are fitted with
electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know
exactly when they're going to go off.
30. Having a job of any kind
will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
31. It is always possible to
park directly outside the building you are visiting.
32. It does not matter if you
are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts --
your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by
dancing around in threatening manner until you have knocked out
their predecessor.
33. During a very emotional confrontation,
instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary
to stand behind them and talk to their back.
34. Guns are like disposable
razors -- if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away.
You can always find a new one.
35. Make-up can safely be worn
to bed without smudging.
36. A detective can only solve
a case once he has been suspended from duty.
37. Rather than wasting bullets,
megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated
machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers,
and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least
20 minutes to escape.
38. The chief of police is always
wrong.
39. When leaving your home or
apartment it's never necessary to lock the door behind you.
40. If there is a deranged killer
on the loose, this event will coincide with a thunderstorm that
has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
See you soon,
Carl
PS: To save ease my painful arms
and wrists I just copied all of the above TV/movie things from
the internet. I don't know who originally compiled the list...
but it was on the internet, where everything is free to copy!
PPS: Sam organizing new guitar and amp arrivals!
PPPS: Customer of the week: Aviation
Blondes
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to
have that great Vox sound and great Vox look, in a lighter-weight
package. Vox has just introduced the AC-30 Valve Reactor. It's
the same cabinet as the AC-30 with two 12" celestion speakers,
and it features a hybrid tube-solid state amplifier section.
It's half the weight (just a guess) and half the price (OK, that's
accurate) of the all-tube AC-30.
Meanwhile,
Paul Reed Smith is celebrating their 25th Anniversary, and they've
introduced several new models to celebrate. Here's John with
a few...
mark Saturday,
May 22, 2010, as the "Pittsburgh Guitars Big Beatle Show
#7." We already have all of the bands lined up, and it's
going to be a fun night. We'll have more news soon!
roads
brought many things to a halt. But one bright spot of being house-bound
is catching up on your reading and DVD watching.
independently,
in their home towns. The biographies are nicely done and each
guitarist gives insight into their background, their musical
inspirations and how they got started as guitar players. They
all seem to be: (a) nice guys (well... it's hard to tell with
Jack White... he's one intense dude...), (b) dedicated musicians
(did I mention how intense Jack White is?), and (c) serious about
their craft (Jack White). Occasionally the film cuts back to
the soundstage conversation, and you get the impression that
they are also relating their individual stories to each other
there on the soundstage. But we, the viewing audience, primarily
get to see separately filmed histories and interviews. Likewise,
some jamming occurs on the soundstage, but the more interesting
performances are in the individual segments.
even
if Edge, The, needed forty-seven pedals to get his sound), is
that all three of these guys are multi-millionaires. Jimmy Page
may have had a bigger impact on the history of rock & roll,
but they have all been quite successful in the music biz. They
have that goin' for them, so they can pretty much play whatever
they want. And at the end of the day, they don't have to pack
up their own equipment. (Although Jack White may do that anyway.)
But
when they come to Jimmy Page's first guitar, the screen shot
features close-ups of a sunburst Strat, and the title reads:
"Jimmy's Stratocaster." BUT when they cut to early
pictures of a young Jimmy Page, he is NOT playing a Strat...
He is clearly holding a sunburst Grazioso Futurama!! How could
they get that wrong?? What kind of world are we living in???
But
the rest of it is pretty cool! I give it five out if six strings!
making guitars 176 years ago,
they've used their model names to designate both size and style.
The system originally began with two numbers separated by a hyphen.
The first number (on the left side of the hyphen) represented
the size of the guitar, and the second number (on the right side)
represented its level of ornamentation.